April 18, "God's ways are higher than our ways"

I have really been reminding myself of that scripture this week as my mission has taken an unexpected turn. I am sure most of you know but I am headed home this week due to health challenges. I have had a lot of mixed feelings about it, I am not sure whether to jump for joy or cry. I decided I will just do both :) I will tell you this though, I am a pretty indecisive person and I usually feel quite nervous about decisions. However, this time around I have no doubt in my mind that I am supposed to go home and for the first time in a long time I feel 100% clarity. My companion has been the biggest strength to me through this whole process. I could list sooo many reasons why this worked out perfectly despite the unfortunate nature of it. My whole district was talking to me about all the non "coincidences" of the situation this week and there is no question that Heavenly Father and His angels were busy in all the details.

I guess I just want to share two things:

#1 Tuan was baptized this last weekend. That is the best way for me to end. He blew me away as he shared his testimony about Faith being the ultimate anchor. He expressed that he realized that he needed something bigger than himself to help him in this life. The look on his face when he came up from the water after the baptism ordinance was a moment that is embedded in my memory. The peace and excitement that washed over his face caused the spirit to whisper to me, "This is what it is all about" I felt in that moment that my work was truly done here in the sweet OK. That boy has taught me so much and I will treasure those lessons for many years to come.

#2 When trials come we often ask "why me?" or "what did I do to deserve this?" instead this week I consciously decided to ask "please give me the strength to handle this." I think that is the only way we can truly allow ourselves to learn the lessons God would have us learn. Even though I am not exactly sure why this is playing out the way it is, I can tell  you one thing that Heavenly Father wanted me to know. That is, that God does love me more than I could really ever understand. These past couple weeks the outpouring of love from my zone leaders, my sister training leaders, my district leader, the mission President and his wife, and most of all, my companion, has been extraordinary. I have not felt that much love in a long time. I find myself doubting a lot how much Heavenly Father loves me simply because of my imperfections. This week as I was praying in pure gratitude for the love I felt, I felt Heavenly Father tell me that He loves me like they do but much much much more. That was a tangible peace that I know God knew I needed and will need as these next few weeks roll on. If nothing else that lesson is enough for me to endure this pain.

I testify that God lives, Jesus is truly the Christ, our Redeemer, the Savior for you. I know without a doubt in my mind this is the happiest way to live.

 "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 16:25)

Over the past 16 months I have truly found new life!

With all my love,

Sister Engelbrecht

Pics:

My first day out of the house in a week 

Sister Liddell was exhausted with all my packing :)

Tuans Baptism